Crash Course in the Court System

Between what was happening with JW, and the things with my family, and my own personal struggles with abuse, I was NOT well emotionally. Nothing proved that more than the many times I would dissociate. Things were up and down. My niece was born in April 1997, and my Grandma died that Autumn. My family would not welcome me at their home, so I did not welcome them at mine. I had never seen my family so at odds. Mostly because I was trying, quite unsuccessfully, to set boundaries with everybody and nobody would accept them. And they all wanted me to 'move home' not accepting the fact that I 'was home' now that I was living on my own.

In the midst of the chaos, dissociation was frequent, and I wound up dissociating in stores and walking out of them with unpaid merchandise which caused me to be arrested. I don't remember much of the arrest until I was in the security office. I did everything they told me to and was very cooperative.

The court system was unique. I felt like a lost child in it. I went through the mental health court diversion program, having people walk me through what I needed to do, what I needed to say and so on. I was fortunate. So long as I continued to see my psychiatrist, I would be good. And once he changed some medication and that seemed to help.

At the same time this was happening, I volunteered at a mission downtown.  One of the attendees there had threatened to kill me because I refused to play cards with him.  Plus he called me every white racist name in the book.  I had witnesses to this so he spent 3 months in jail.  

But rather than the mission abide by the law and keep him out of the mission and allow me in, they kept me out and allowed him in.  The mission was infamous for these kinds of warped decisions.  

I had made arrangements with a good friend that if I wanted to go out, I asked him to go out with me. That way there would be no temptation to take anything,  and if I did dissociate, someone would be with me. It was a good move, because dissociation never happened when I had people around me to talk with. I wasn't afraid because I wasn't alone. SR was and remains a wonderful friend. 

I was very glad when 1997 and 1998 came to a close.

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